I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
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...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
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I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...