We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.