That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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