why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm at about main and main street
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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