Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
