All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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