i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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