i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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