It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
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Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
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I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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