happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
