...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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