Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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