My underwear smells like fireworks.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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