smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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