but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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