The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Randomize