i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I have fence marks all over my body
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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