my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
