Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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