just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
