So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
