Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
