I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
