I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
