He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
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I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
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You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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