Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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