what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
