Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
