; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Non-Jews are for practice
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You've changed since you got that strap on
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
