Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
The chlamydia really affected his face.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
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