is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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