He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
More tranny stories later!
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
