guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Randomize
