I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
