but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
