HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You were trust falling into bushes
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
