Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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