Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
