Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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