I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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