It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
