I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
