i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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