how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
