u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I have post one night stand depression
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