I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
