Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
