I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
