How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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