we have officially lost it.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
