y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
