is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
That accounts for only three of the penises
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Randomize
