Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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