Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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