i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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