garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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