im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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